Caregiving

I Don't Just Like You, I Love You!

January 24, 2018



Our conversations have become quieter lately. Not completely quiet, just quieter. The talking and laughing has gotten less. I watched my short mom sitting in the front passenger seat next to my husband, Paul. She continued to stare out the window with her squinty eyes with no words to say.

I had said everything that I could possibly think to say during this car drive. The crowd had gotten silent. I finally decided to ask my mom a question. I figure she'll at least respond back to me, "Yes".

I asked my mom "Do you like me and Paul?"

I know, silly question, right? This is a question I had never asked her before. 

Her response surprised me and melted my heart. 

It was a response that I thought I would never hear again. I didn't think she could even respond this way.

Her response was . . . .

"I don't just like you guys, I love you guys!"

Her remark made me smile. I wish I could have had that moment on video. I will hold that moment in my heart forever.

For that one moment, I felt like I had my mom back.

Tell someone that you love them today & make someone smile! It's such a blessing to be able to do so. I never knew how much of a blessing it is, to be able to communicate love!

Make someone feel loved, instead of just liked!



Quotes

Remember These Things

January 17, 2018


I have been blessed to have my mom be my biggest cheerleader in life! My mom would motivate me, give me sweet messages, and just try to help pick me up whenever she saw that I needed it. I have been blessed to find reminders of these things still to this day!


I hope this reminder helps someone out there that needs to hear this message today! Please share this message with someone who might need to see this message today!

YOU ARE Valued,

YOU ARE Precious,

YOU ARE Needed,

YOU ARE Loved.

This is just a reminder to tell people the way you truly feel about them, if it's positive. Let them know these things before it is to late. Be someone's cheerleader. Be someone's supporter. Just lift someone else, who needs a lift.

I am my mom's biggest cheerleader now. I'm happy that my mom is still able to lift others with her past messages to me.

Let's help lift each other up higher and higher!

And Always Remember . . . .

You are valued,

You are precious,

You are needed,

You are loved!





About Us

Stroke Awareness - My Stroke Story

January 11, 2018


Warning: This is a long post, but this could help save you or your loved one's life! This message is important! Thank you for reading & helping me spread awareness to Strokes!

I feel compelled to write a post about Strokes today. You might be wondering what a stroke has to do with Frontotemporal Dementia. I guess in our situation the stroke and Frontotemporal Dementia don't have anything to do with being combined together, or as one. I was just my mom's caregiver when a stroke hit me. I was definitely blindsided by the stroke.

I had heard that caregivers sometimes pass away before the person they are caring for. I never really took those words seriously. That seemed strange to me. I really thought "how can caregivers get sick or pass away first?" I'm pretty sure now that is because stress can do a lot to your body. If you are feeling overwhelmed with your caregiving responsibilities, please, try to find some help, before it is to late! I wish I could turn back the time to where I didn't have to experience a stroke.

I was the main caregiver for my mom when I experienced a stroke. It was July 13, 2016 on a hot summer day, to be exact. I had been having bad neck pain and headaches for 2 weeks constantly. My head and neck hurt so bad even laying my head on a pillow. I had no relief whatsoever at anytime during those 2 weeks. I had tried everything to get rid of the pain, but nothing was helping. I was so desperate for any relief, so I decided to go to the chiropractor.

My stroke symptoms started while I was trying to get ready to leave the chiropractor office, after I had been adjusted, and massaged. It was a scary, terrifying, emotional, frightful, and confusing time all at once.

This is a post below, that I wrote on Facebook, about my Stroke experience. Written in May 2017.

Better late than never. I’m finally breaking my silence. . . .

You never know how strong you really are until you get knocked down a bit and get back up.   

I am so very thankful for everyone who visited me, sent flowers, fruit, balloons, & cards, offered service, helped with my mom, the calls/voicemails, texts, the prayers, and the many people who have asked how I am doing & continue to ask. None of this has gone unnoticed & it is appreciated so much!

I feel as if everything in life happens for a reason and this happened to only make me stronger and to change my life in a way that was needed. I am so lucky for my outcome and feel so very blessed.

I continue to heal every day and I can’t wait until I feel more like myself. I’m now almost 10 months post-stroke and I am so thankful to be alive! Strokes are real, strokes can happen to anyone. If it happened to me, it could happen to you.

Please be aware of stroke signs.

For me it was: confusion, slurring my words & couldn’t speak right, didn’t know who some people were by hearing their names, bad headache, bad neck pain (I also had a dissected artery in my neck that caused the stroke), blurry vision (everything all seemed together & blurry. This was the first symptom that started.), nausea, tiredness, discoordination, & vomiting.

Be prepared to be an advocate for your loved one. I thought it would get better if I laid down & finally realized it wasn’t going to get better. I went to the hospital after 4 1/2 hours that the symptoms started. I was aware of strokes (and, of course, never thought it could happen to me), but didn’t know what was happening to me at the time.

I was told in the emergency room that I was being admitted to the hospital because of a dissected artery. I was shocked when I got to my hospital room and heard the nurse tell me I’m too young to be having a stroke.

Keep on smiling! That is what has helped me get through my harder times. Many thanks to my family, friends, and especially to Paul Ahotaeiloa for being there for me non-stop and being my biggest supporter! 

My mom, who has Frontotemporal Dementia, had no idea what a stroke was. She had no idea what I was going through. She knew I was at the hospital, but I don't even know if she knew what that fully meant. I had just gotten home from the hospital, and my mom called me up, and asked me if I was going to pick her up. She was ready to hang out with me again. She would call me every day after my stroke and want me to come pick her up. She would treat me as if I was fine, and nothing happened to me. No matter what, my mom was unable to understand this time during my stroke. There was nothing I could say or do to have her truly understand what I was going through. I wanted so badly to be the same person that I was before the stroke, but I couldn't. That is probably the hardest thing for me to this day. I can't do as much, as I did before.

Another hard part of the stroke for me is that I became a new person. It has changed my whole being, and I am a new person. There are things that I can't do anymore or I have to do them differently now. I am slower. My energy gets used up quicker, and everything I do takes more energy to do than it did before.

I recently saw someone write that the aftermath of a stroke is worse than the actual stroke. I fully agree with that for my situation. A stroke is not like a surgery where you can recover from it after a few days/weeks/months or like a sickness that you can fully recover from. Once you have a stroke, you have some kind of disability whether you can see it or not. It is a permanent injury to the brain. The brain will never recover fully, but the brain can do some amazing things like what neuroplasticity does. Stroke survivors need support and they need to know that you are there for them.

Please share and help me spread awareness to Strokes. I don't want anyone to have to experience a stroke. It is something that I had never experienced before, and I hope I never have to experience another stroke again.

My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who has had a Stroke, is going through a Stroke experience right now, or is going through the aftermath of a Stroke.

Stay  Strong!

Take  Care  of  Yourself!

This is why I am passionate about Stroke Awareness and Frontotemporal Dementia Awareness!

. . . and REMEMBER if you have any of these symptoms below, please, please, please, get to the hospital immediately (ASAP)! I wish I had gone to the hospital sooner than I did. That is why it is important for you to be someone's advocate, and help get them to the hospital, if you suspect a stroke is present!


Photo Credit to : https://www.stemcell.life/stroke.html


A BIG THANK YOU will always go to my, Aunt Linda P, for helping save us that week of the stroke! She stayed with my mom at her home and helped my mom out. Every caregiver needs a life saver in their life, and Linda P has been our life saver during all our moments we have needed help during this FTD process.

Sharing is caring! Thank you for sharing and caring!  :)

Thank you for your support!

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