Later Stages

Finally Free At Last

March 01, 2020

March 24, 1957 - February 28, 2020

   My heart is overfilled with love and appreciation! I can't thank everyone enough for treating me so special during this harder time for me!
   My sweet mother, Cindy, passed away on Friday evening. My aunt and I were able to be in the room with her as she took her last breath. This will forever be a special moment for me, as my brothers told me, she was waiting for me, before she finally let go. She finally, let go not to long, after I entered the room.

   As a caregiver, you get in a routine of helping them be comfortable and just to make it to another day. We had close moments before where I thought it might be my mom's time to go, but I got use to helping her through those hard times. She was having harder days, but I was so use to my mom making it through it. This time around, my mom decided to trick me. It was time for her to go. I look back now & can see it was all the process and it was happening. No matter how much I tried to prepare for this moment, I wasn't prepared. I'm not sure you can ever be fully prepared, especially with the emotions that come. We have said so many goodbyes during my mom's Frontotemporal Dementia journey. We lost so much of my mom every week, month, and year after year. This has been such a long grieving process throughout the years. 

   My mom was so strong up until the end. She pushed with all the strength she had, up unto the end. 

   I'll miss her so much! I'm so glad that she is finally free at last! 

   There's one thing for sure that I know. I'm a much stronger person now than I was before. I'm thankful for the strength that my mom has given me through being able to be her caregiver. I feel like I came to earth with the calling already to be my mom's caregiver. I've helped her for about half of my life. I'll be forever grateful for these moments and lessons I have learned. 

   Thank you everyone for the love, service, acts of kindness, offerings of help, and messages. I feel the love and it's helping me get through this. 

   Many thanks to Paul Ahotaeiloa, my husband, for being my biggest support system for many years! Thank you for the care you gave to my mom even up to her last breath! I couldn't have made it through this journey without you! 
   I would love to continue sharing our story and spreading FTD awareness. When the time is right, I'll be doing that. I hope you'll still be here helping me spread FTD awareness!

Sending everyone much love & light today and everyday!

 You can read Cindy's obituary!

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