Raw emotions coming...
62 years old with many years of dementia behind her. I won't lie I miss my mom. She's still alive, but so much of her has disappeared. She was diagnosed at 56 with Frontotemporal Dementia, but we knew well before that things weren't right.
I'm very happy that we could celebrate another year of her life. I'm so grateful for her and all she's done for me. I'm glad we can still hold her and tell her we love her. I can't get enough of her smile and laughter.
I deeply miss the cheerleader she has been for me in my life. I can't just call and get advice from her. I can't joke about the dumb things I did growing up and tell her "you were right mom I should have listened to you". I saw the fight in her to be the amazing grandma I knew she wanted to be. Now it's hard to not feel like we are just people, with an unknown relationship, that come to say hi to her. She calls another elderly man in the nursing home her son.
I live everyday with gratitude and don't get me wrong I am grateful for every moment with my mom. Yesterday was one tough moment for me. I know my mom. She loves flowers! She loved them more than anyone I know. For her to reject them and tell me she didn't want to take them with her after dinner was super hard for me. It took a lot for me to hold back my tears in front of everyone. Looking back today is a different story.
Everyone do me a favor this week. Hug your mom. Tell her you love her. Call her and have a conversation with her. Laugh with her. Joke with her. I know my mom would have been into funny gif's and meme's. Send one... do it for me. Reminisce with her about the good and the bad. Ask her for her advice or recommendation. I didn't always see eye to eye with my mom but I sure do appreciate all that I learned from her.
Written By Cindy's Son, Jon.
3/25/19
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