FTD & Forgetting Birthdays For Good

October 02, 2017

It was my birthday this weekend.

My mom never missed a birthday. She loved it when it was my birthday. She would always write a birthday card to me every year. It wasn't just an ordinary birthday card. It was a card where she wrote her appreciation and told me how much she cared & loved me. She always wanted to spend every birthday with me or she just wanted to see me for my birthday. My mom would hand deliver the cards to me.

The last 3 years, our birthday routine has changed. The first year my mom forgot that it was my birthday, it was sad, but I was okay. This reminded me that my mom was getting further into her disease.

This year my mom didn't call me or tell me happy birthday through a text, again. I was okay with it, because I have started to get use to that. I realize that she is just unable to do that anymore.

This year Paul wanted to surprise me, and he did. He had my mom write on cards to give me for my birthday. It did surprise me and I was not expecting anything from my mom. Paul said he was trying to help my mom write on the cards. He said my mom wrote on the cards while wearing a smile on her face and had fun doing it. He noticed what she was writing and how she was writing it, and Paul said it caused him to tear up.

Here are the cards that she wrote on. 

This just shows that, even trying to help her write, is hard now. Paul handed me the cards to open. I had tears in my eyes when I saw the card said "daughter" on the front. I opened the cards and I wasn't surprised, I guess, because I know her disease is getting worse. My mom wrote stuff that didn't make sense and on the one card she wrote it to "Mom". I won't lie, probably deep down inside, it does make me real sad. 

I promise you this isn't a sob post. I just want to share this with you so you can see the progress of the disease and see what happens with memory and birthdays. I want to spread awareness to FTD and show everyone, that I can, what happens when you have Frontotemporal Dementia.

Birthdays slowly fade away when you have dementia. That is the hard truth.

I am so thankful that my mom wrote me so many cards throughout many previous years. I don't doubt her love for me and I know, if she could, she would be telling me , "happy birthday".

To check out birthday cards that my mom wrote me prior to her FTD diagnosis, visit this link below. There is definitely a big difference.

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  1. I found your blog from AFTD during FTD week. My husband (with FTD), when he could sign cards, would put exclamation points before and after his name too. I would also have to tell him to write "Dad" instead of his name, for cards to his daughter. Thank you for sharing, and Happy Birthday.

  2. DI, I'm so glad that you came to our blog and found it during FTD week! I'm so sorry that you have had to go through the FTD journey, too! :( Thank you for the birthday wishes! I hope you'll come back here to visit again!

    - Natalie

  3. My mom doesn't have dementia, but she suffered a stroke a few years ago that left her significantly impaired. It is so hard when you have a parent that in so many ways doens't feel like one anymore. I am glad your mom could get you out cards with a little help!That is so sweet :)


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